Dr Damian Stoupe

Grounded Counselling

online counselling from Wells, Somerset.

Be who you want to be!

Online counselling, grounded in experience, in practice and in research; helping you to move forward, and shape your future.

I focus on helping people struggling with anxiety and stress, anger and frustration, confidence and assertiveness, conflict and relationships.

I focus on building mental fitness that will last a lifetime, not just repairing problems from the past.

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Working with you…

I am an accredited counsellor working online from Wells, Somerset, UK

I listen to you. I help you reflect on what is happening to you. I help you understand what is happening. I will help you find a solution that fits your situation, works for you and that you can change as things change.

You are not a label, a diagnosis or a clinical category: You are a unique human person and I will treat you with there respect that you deserve. You will not be judged nor will our conversation be repeated.

I will talk with you; I will not sit in silence (unless there is a good reason to do so). I want to understand you and challenge you; to do this we need to talk together, to talk openly, and to risk having a proper conversation. We might even have a laugh!

You deserve a counsellor who will change their approach to you. We will look to the future, only looking back when the route to the future is blocked. From our first conversation, our attention is focussed on helping you move forward; to help you take control and shape your future.

Damian Stoupe - The Grounded Counsellor
Dr Damian Stoupe
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What I help with…

Like many counsellors, I work with a wide range of issues. However, my specialised counselling training and my and PhD studies have given me a unique set of specialist skills and a breadth of knowledge of psychology, sociology, philosophy eduction, leadership, and research skills that can be used to help you find a solution to the challenges you face.

Issues I work with…

Abuse * Anxiety * Anger Management * Aspects of Faith * Confidence * Conflict * Coping Skills * Couples and Marital Conflict * Decision-Making* Depression * Divorce * Guilt/Shame * Health Anxiety * Individual coaching * Isolation * Life Transitions * Loneliness * Mindfulness * Motivation * Pre-marriage issues * Performance anxiety * Procrastination * Relationships: at home/work * Self-care * Self-Esteem * Separation * Spirituality * Stress * Suicidal Thoughts * Trauma * Work-Related Concerns * Workplace Bullying

Counselling can help you…

  • Re-discover fun in your life
  • Manage grief or sadness
  • Understand how frustration can turn into anger or depression
  • Make a big life decision
  • Boost your self-esteem
  • Explore and embrace your uniqueness Build meaningful relationships
  • Understand & stop doing things that hurt yourself or others
  • Explore how being mindfully aware can build mental fitness
  • Cope with stress or anxiety

… and that is just for starters!

There are as many reasons people work with a counsellor as there are people – because we are all unique. Whether you want a single session to help resolve a problem (using a solution-focussed approach) or long-term support, get in touch.

There are some areas of counselling that I do not work in. This is because I believe there are specialist organisations that can support people in these areas more effectively than I can. To find out more about issues I don’t work with please click here.

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Individual counselling

There are many emotional issues that find a corner in our heart, refusing to go away. Over time, these issues transform into a sort of emotional trauma that impacts how we live our lives and our affects relationships with those we love at home and our colleagues in work. Issues such as lack of concentration, poor confidence, jealousy, enthusiasm, self-respect, will to change, encouragement, and so on, all affect ourselves and those around us. These issues can spiral into our lives in various ways and get channelled into other areas, which can lead to problems.

Individual counselling helps people address these life-limiting emotional issues, which can vary in order of their severity or intensity. Whether it is the problem of repressed childhood that you are facing, managing anger or stress, loneliness or feeling powerless, or an emotional breakdown due to divorce, bullying at work or the loss of a loved one, I will work with you to revive your mental health through counselling and coaching.

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Relationship Coaching

If anyone tells you that they have the perfect relationship – be wary; they are probably a hiding something. All relationships come under strain; periods of silence, arguments and lack of trust are ever-present; they can be used creatively to develop relationships – if we are open and honest about them and talk through the problems in a safe an supportive way or they can destroy a relationship.

The essence of building good relationships, romantic or otherwise, is open and honest communication. In relationship counselling developing

Building Mental Fitness

Counselling is often thought of as a way of resolving mental health problems. It is, but it can also be so much more. Counselling should be thought of as ‘fitness training for the mind’; helping you achieve a healthy balance between body, brain and mind; helping you rediscover the fun of living.

Having Damian, as your counsellor, is like having a personal trainer helping you to become mentally and emotionally fit for life.

The NHS is currently refocusing its efforts on prevention rather than cure, in the same way seeing a counsellor before we have problems, building up our mental fitness, mindful awareness and resilience helps in preventing more serious mental health problems later in life.

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Some of the areas where I find men, in particular, have a great deal of difficulty are:

  • Personal and professional relationship issues
  • Career Concerns/ Redundancy and/or Retirement
  • Anger Management and other mood difficulties
  • Substance/Alcohol misuse
  • Violence
  • Sexual problems
  • Commitment Issues
  • Changing roles in life esp. with children
  • Male victim recovery
counselling services

Counselling for men

Why counselling for men? Because men are often rubbish at shouting out for help.

Most men are taught from an early age to ‘stop crying and just get on with it’.Sure, we have our friends to talk to but sometimes we need something a little more.

Maybe you need someone who is ethically bound to keep whatever you say confidential, someone who is there just for you, someone who can help you try and make some sense out of what is happening in your life.

Counselling exists to help everyone; it is not just something that women do. More and more men are realising that to be able to feel good about themselves they need to understand the meaning in their lives. Counselling, for me, is not about making people happy; I believe we need to experience the full range of emotions and by doing so will be able to live a more fulfilling life for ourselves and those around us.

The first stage is always reaching out and asking for and receiving help. If you are ready to take this step then drop me an email.

There are some areas in which I have a specific interest when counselling and coaching.

This interest usually emerges from my PhD studies, and being able to explore in detail the current research pin topics but also developing a passion for helping people address these issues and regain control over their lives. Helping them live a more fulfilling life.

Much off my research revolves around helping people find more fun in their lives: a fun that emerges when we are able to develop as a human person: personally , professionally, intellectually and emotionally.

Anything that stops us developing is not just harmful to our mental health but also to our physical health.

Anxiety Management

Individual counselling is helpful for those struggling with social anxiety, health anxiety, panic attacks, fears and phobias and moire generalised anxiety. By helping you understand the signs, symptoms and contexts in which anxiety rears its head, you can learn about effective tools and techniques that will help you live your life more fully; letting go of fears, doubts and worries.

Stress Management

Stress is a normal, healthy psychological and physical reaction; indeed a little bit of stress is good for us, helping ups perform and deal with challenges.

However, when stress begins to take control of our lives, rather than us being in control of it, we end  up feeling dis-stressed and unable to function properly at work or at home,. Through counselling, you can understand those things that trigger stress for you, how to deal with them and get back in control of stress.

Communicating effectively

Being assertive is at the heart of good communication. Being able to express our own hopes, fears, needs and opinions in an open and honest way, while being considerate, polite and respectful of other people is central to having any trusting relationship with another person or group of people.

Just think about the ways in which we are not assertive; most of which revolve around us trying to control the other person. Obviously we can think issues around managing anger or domestic abuse, but we cannot ignore habits of people pleasing or avoiding conflict.

Adult/Workplace Bullying

For the last 15 years, I have had a specific focus on working with adults that have been bullied at home or at work. One thing is clear, the impact of being bullied continues for many years after the event and affects many different aspects of life.

For some, the event may have taken place in school, but the real impact only emerges later on in life, for others the shock of being bullied at work (or being told you are a bully) has an immediate and long lasting impact. I work with people to lessen the impact and help them move on; reclaiming their life.

how I work

My approach to counselling is based upon the Classical Grounded Theory research method I used for my PhD research, and building on the ideas of Dr Odis Simmons.

It is an approach that means you are put at the centre of all that we do; counselling fits around the needs of the client, you, as opposed to the client having to fit around the counselling approach used by the counsellor. In a very real sense, it is a movement back to the

Essentially, my counselling approach follows a simple five step process: We reflect on our experiences to identify the emotional impact in order to understand what is happening; it is only by gaining a true understanding of what has been happening that we are then able to identity effective actions to move forward with.

grounded counselling process

* For those interested in the philosophical foundations of how I work, it is an approach based upon Lonergan’s critical realist method, Glaser’s Classical Grounded Theory and informed by what is known as liberation psychology. I will be writing a full page and some blog posts on this approach shortly.

that life can be challenging, and things become difficult to deal with. These are the times when it can be useful to have a counsellor who is outside your family and friendship group to talk things through. An effective counsellor is one who can help you understand what is going on and help you find a way forward.

in building strong relationships (a working alliance) with clients, based; on trust, empathy and mutual respect, so that each person feels that they are understood, and are encouraged to create positive, lasting, change in their lives.

an integrative approach to counselling and coaching which is wholly guided by my clients needs.


Damian Stoupe
PhD, MSc, BA (Hons)MNCS (Acc)

Counselling aims to improve your quality of life and the counsellors experience makes a real difference but on its own, it is not enough. My practice is grounded in experience but also in a commitment to achieving the most effective skills set, based upon the latest research, to give you the best care I can and help you face the future with hope.

My counselling work is:

Grounded in Experience : I have over 15 years’ experience working in counselling and before that 15 years’ experience working in industry, much of it as part of senior leadership teams.

Grounded in Research : My approach to counselling is based upon empirical research, and I draw upon different academic areas to support my work particularly psychology, sociology and education/learning theory. I hold a PhD in learning and development from the School of Education at the University of Bristol for my research in to how fun can be harnessed to help us thrive as human persons. Fun plays a big role in my counselling approach!

Grounded in Practice : My approach is deceptively simple. I follow a practical process: we become aware of our experiences, by reflecting on those experiences we we reflect gain an understanding of what drives our behaviours, fears, ambitions. Once we have that understanding, we can identify the best actions, skills and tools to help us move forward.

I am committed to putting you, the client, at the heart of the process. Treating you with respect does not just mean following a set of guidelines but a deep, philosophical, commitment to understanding how I can help you.

When working with clients I aim to be as transparent as I can be. To this end, what-you-see-is-what-you-get (WYSIWIG). I bring my authentic self to the counselling room, to help you find yours. I want you to feel safe and at home every time you step into a session.

Although I have an academic background, I am not a distant academic. I use my academic knowledge, alongside my practical and pragmatic approach to counselling, to help you find solutions and begin to live your life as quickly and safely as possible.

Damian Stoupe - The Grounded Counsellor

…not chats. The counselling room is no place for idle gossip or non-focussed discussion. Every part of our conversation should be focused on helping you find a way to get unstuck. It is your time and money !

Evidence based

Having two research-based higher degrees means I have been trained in how to read, understand and apply a broad range of educational, philosophical, psychological and sociological research to my counselling practice.

Male counsellors are rare in the counselling/psychotherapy field. While I specialise in offering counselling for men, female clients can benefit for the different perspectives a male counsellor can offer.

choosing a counsellor

Choosing a counsellor should not be as simple as looking at a few photos or videos and reading a few words or bios on a website. Research is clear that the personal relationship between the counsellor and client is very important.

That’s why I offer all my clients a free 30-minute counselling consultation to give us both a chance to get to know each other and our expectations of counselling. Probably unusually, I also advise people to wait a few days before making a decision after talking to me, and use the time to think about what was said and even to talk to other counsellors.

I think it is so important to help you find the right counsellor for you that I have added a specific page to provide advice on choosing a counsellor and even offer help for you to find the right counsellor for you.

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Online Counselling Resources

Have a look ay the free counselling resources I offer through my blog or links to articles, workshops and talks.

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The blog

My blog, ‘The Wonderings and Wanderings‘ of an online counsellor offers a rich resource for people who want to understand more about how I work as a counsellor, what informs my online grounded counselling practice as well as useful help and advice to build mental fitness.

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Articles, talks, workshops

Over the years I have delivered many articles, talks and workshops on a range of subjects. Include din this section are links to some of the older, but still relevant , material.

Latest posts from the blog…