Often a focus of counselling, particular counselling for men, is the issue of anger management. I often find that those who come for help with managing their anger come because they have been told to by their partner. While some of us are aware of the impact of lack of anger management, often it is those who bear the brunt of our anger that are most aware.
What many people are not aware of is not just them mental impact of unresolved anger issues, but also the physical impact. For example, anxiety, depression, high blood-pressure problems, heart disease and stress. New(ish) research suggesting that long-term stress (as often experienced by those struggling to manage their anger) can have an impact on long-term debilitating conditions such as dementia.
When to seek help for anger management:
- when the ‘red mist’ comes down
- if you often feel frustrated, irritable restless
- when you generally think the worst of people, thinking they are unreasonable or life is unfair
- if you are snappy, hit out, hit or throw objects
- if you are sarcastic, unkind, physically or verbally attack someone
- but also if you have to bottle up that anger, turning it inward on to your self (self-harm), taking drugs or alcohol just to escape the feelings
Our focus when addressing anger management is to understand those triggers or frustrations that result in angry outbursts:
The focus for this type of work, with men or women, is to help you understand what the triggers or frustrations are that result in angry outbursts; and to identify coping strategies and solutions that help you express yourself in a healthy and productive way.
In other words, we find ways of you to be in control of the anger rather that the anger being on control of you.